"I hate most prequels, sequels, reboots, and remakes. They typically ruin the magic of the original piece and make me pretty jaded about it, actually. But I’m also a cynical, pretentious, jaded asshat, so what do I know."
"There’s a number of better things to do with your time on a Saturday night than watch Saturday Night. I could write whole other listicle on this, but instead, I’m going to defer this post to be about the far superior Rutgers Night Live and wait until I sell out and work for Buzzfeed to do that."
"In keeping with the theme of out-doing Anna, I noticed she never covered Café Caberét, so I had to cover it to assert my dominance and be better than her already."
"Thus, emerges the witty, wise, and weirdly into alliteration new Social Media Chair, who will be just like the last one, except funnier: David Novis."
